Sex and the City (movie)
Written and directed by: Michael Patrick King
Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis, Cynthia Nixon, Jennifer Hudson
Before You Watch
〰️
Before You Watch 〰️
Every time that I get on a plane and they offer in-flight entertainment, I go through the same ritual.
I scroll through the movies from A - Z, looking through the selection for ones I haven’t seen and yet inevitably, if it is in the line-up, I always stop on the first Sex and the City movie and hit the fast forward button until about half-way through.
It’s the scene after Big leaves Carrie at the altar, when she’s gone on their already-paid-for honeymoon with her closest girlfriends. As soon as they get to the resort we see Carrie head for a room, get in bed and sleep for days. She doesn’t eat, she doesn’t leave the bed, she just keeps sleeping, the sadness of her heartbreak and grief like an anchor holding her down. And unlike many stories of heartbreak onscreen, she doesn’t magically recover in a matter of scenes. It takes time, friendship, Jennifer Hudson and — of course, because this is Sex and the City — a terrific hair makeover, for Carrie to start to resemble the person she was before Big broke her heart.
So often romantic comedies speed through this part of the breakup process because it is uncomfortable and sad and no one wants to watch someone look like that onscreen for very long. But after I went through my first painful-with-a-capital-P breakup, I found solace in Carrie’s grief and in her relationship’s ending, which, despite it all ultimately working out, is less of a fairytale and more of a reality check than we often get in rom-coms.
Question to hold as you watch:
What got you through your moments of heartbreak and grief?
And when you look back at that time now, what do you feel?
After the Movie
〰️
After the Movie 〰️
One of my other favorite scenes in the first Sex and the City movie is when a very-pregnant Charlotte sees Big at a restaurant. Charlotte has been rehearsing what she’d say if she ever saw Big since he left Carrie, and when finally given the chance she does say it:
“I don’t want to see you! I’m so mad at you! I was always on your side and then you go and you do that to Carrie! No, no — I’m not going to cry, I’m not going to waste tears on you… I curse the day you were born!”
And then, of course, her water breaks.
The reason I love this scene is because it shows just how much righteous anger you can feel when one of your dear friends is wronged or hurt.
I often struggle to have this same level of anger for myself when I’m mistreated but I can so relate to Charlotte’s passionate indignation on her friend’s behalf, that’s how deep her love is for Carrie. She would yell and curse a man who hurt Carrie on the street, behaving in a way that she probably never would on her own behalf.
That level of righteous love and care is something that I don’t think is talked about enough when it comes to our friendships — I see it more with romantic partners or blood-relations — and in my experience it is a profound blessing to be loved in such a way by a friend. It not only makes you feel less alone in your hurt and pain, but it also models what standing up for yourself with righteous love can look like, and makes that love a possibility.